The Butt Bounce!

Rak doing the Beyonce Butt BounceHello Everyone.  I want to help make some milkshakes.  I'm gonna help you ladies bring the boys to the yard.  This is my effort to heal the world with dance.  How to do the Beyonce Butt Bounce.  Sorry, Click that link or go to MtubeIeng on Youtube to find the Video.  Having some technical Difficulties.  I will try to get it on my site soon.

The Great Idea

Hello oh ye Faithful and Curious.

Long time no entertainment.  I see you have been bored and started doing other things to be entertained.  Sorry to have left you all hanging for so long.  Here are the things you have been using to occupy your time since I have left you high and dry:

• Pintrest-Good site, but now everyone thinks they are philosophers, stylists, and interior designers
• New porn site called www.xxnx.com-I think a couple I know has a video on there?  Rhymes with Zey and Zocyn.
• You Tubes of a boy and Grandma singing Rack City-Rak's Real City would have hotter older women.
• Started riots for new Galaxy Foamposites-People-these are ghetto shoes.  One step away from the boots that showed snowflakes or robots when it got cold outside. 
• Started following some Jeremy Lin dude.  Where's his BLOG?

No worries people, I'm back.  Anything new with me?  I made a new enemy.  Sean T.  He's the trainer in the Insanity Videos I've been doing with some family and friends.  Oh Sean T, with your rippled abs and symmetrically defined traps and pecs.  I hate you.

I'm still seen on TV with my Virginia Lottery Commercial.  I'm told I've brought in so much revenue with my commercial they are able to pay in cash for the construction on the metro service to Dulles.  =0)  <--- (Not too many people use the nose in their emoticons anymore.  I'm bringing it back.  Without a nose it's like Voldemort smiling at you!  You're Welcome for the shout out Harry Potter Fans.)

Ok, now we're all caught up, lets talk about a good idea I want the lot of you to go forth and execute for me. On Wednesday, I'm going to post a video of how to do the Beyonce Butt Bounce.  This is to help all the white chicks and rhythm challeneged folks who are enamored with the move, but can not do it.  I want to help the public.  Here's why doing the Beyonce Butt Bounce is important to society.  A girl does the Beyonce butt bounce in a club/bar.  A man approaches her sexiness and they bang, have a kid, get married, and the child saves humanity by creating the cure to venereal diseases.  Then people freely bang and have more kids who find cures to more illnesses, solve world peace, eliminate the budget deficit, and we all become rich and happy.  but it starts with you.  You must share and get this video in the hands of Ellen Degeneres or Tosh.0.  Or else you have failed society and then you can't freely bang.  Freely bang people...freely bang.

See you Wednesday!

We are all Nerds

I just flashed a new Rom on my Droid to maximize battery life.  Actually it's a newer ROM as the last one crashed so I had to re-wipe the data on my phone and install it.  But I hate the theme that comes with it so I downloaded a GO Theme from the Droid Market to fit my preferences.  *snort*  Man, the functionality I want extra plus battery life!--oh, not to mention I can now use my 4G connection from my phone as a hotspot for my computer.
UH--A-Cubed!  Translation: Awesome to the third power!  *snort*

I totally "NERD"-ed out to customize my smart phone.  I did.  And you may not have gone to this extreme of Nerd-ism, but daym if you haven't found yourself doing the same thing!  I used to be cool man!

Are you MARRIED to your iTOUCH instead of TOUCHING MARY'S D's?  What happened?  Ladies, why are you downloading Apps instead of going down on laps?
"It's always sex with you Rak.  Jeez, grow up!"--Shut up random person who is reading this that I stole your thought from!

My mom e-mails me now.  SO WEIRD.  My dad has three email accounts.  Even my pre-historic uncle got FIOS and Cable!  I care about all my fonts.  My friends invite me three different ways to parties.  Evite, Facebook Invite, and regular email.  I wonder when I will get a wedding invite by email?  Wait! Already done!  Thanks Matt Coniglio!  You Nerd!  You buy devices to connect your TV, to your phone, to your computer.  Where am I going with this?  Maybe I'll GPS it from my phone!


Don't get me wrong.  I mean I am impressed by how technologically savvy I, and many of the people around me, have become. I am actually proud of the ability to learn new things and apply them to technology.  I never thought of myself as a techno nerd.   To survive in this social media-centric and digital world, the ability to customize your face, functionality, and overall digital existence relies on your ability to "Nerd Out."

But dammit people stay cool.  Dance without a video game choreographing your moves.  Sing without auto-tune.  Play sports without fantasy or a joy stick.  Talk to people face to face.  On the thing you use to check your email, browse eBay, and take pictures...use it to make a phone call to someone old or new.  We've "nerded" out in the sense of our digital reality, but what makes us human is investing in real reality.  That's what makes us really cool.

People Watching

You guys are probably like me.  You love to watch people.  I was waiting to go into a meeting and humans are just wild animals free to roam in the wild nature of society as we've built it.  They are fascinating!

Our personalties are put together by so many life moments and experiences and have made us the adaptive creatures we are today.  The only difference between each wild human animal is the things we percieve as impressionable. 

For example Mr. Suit with No Socks and Dress Shoes, what happened to you that makes you draw a new line for formal wear at no socks?  I vote long toenails.

And Ms. Tight ass jeans with, oh about 18 too many, stylish rips and tears while your fatness is oozing out these holes, what happened to you?  Your legs look like they can't breath and are escaping a chain link fence to make it to the other side?

And finally, are you okay Mr. Dominique Wilkins Jersey at a bar or club?  The nineties are over right?  Maybe his dad is Dominique Wilkins but the guy is white so that's a hard one to explain Mrs. Wilkins!
Crazy Wild Human Creatures!

Burgandy and Gold

I needed a happy meal.  Actually its a Mighty kids meal because I've figured out the perfect Tapas style portion of my favorites at the Golden Arches.  6 piece nuggets mighty kids meal and add a double cheeseburger.  Nuggets, fries, burger, drink...I've drowned my sorrows for losing to a Crappy Ass Cowboys Team for less than $6!
My Redskins are good and I haven't lost hope in the players.  This game falls on the coaches.  You can't risk the game on an all out blitz to stop one crucial play!  You can't pull off the throttle on offense!  But our players played hard and the play calling failed us. 
Chin up skins fans.  Dallas is a mess and they eeked one out on us.  Battle lost, war still out there to be won.  Moral of the story, finish your work and pay attention to the details.  Just like I am as I key this Car with a Dallas star on it.  No finger prints and do it on the passenger side so the driver doesn't see it till later.

Social Media!

So I posted on my Blogger and linked it to my Google+ asking if anyone wanted to Hangout to talk about a Facebook post on why there's no longer MySpace because a coworker on LinkedIn showed me on their YouTube Channel how to create an About.me page.

Ok, WTF?  I also chat on AOL IM which is linked to my GCHAT which is linked to my GoogleTALK which syncs to my phone.  I'd Tweet this, but I don't know how to within 140 characters and I am more familiar with Hash browns than Hashtags!  

My digital social life is getting pretty nuts.  Is yours?  Are you feeling like you can't keep up with Posts? Tags?  Invites?  Pokes?  Plus 1'ing?  Friend-ing?  Following?  Circle-ing? If you are, suck it up.  There's no way to avoid being connected these days.  But how do you separate your personas?  If you are the same person around your family, your coworkers, and your friends,  good for you.  But not me.  I have different levels of comfortableness with each group.  This leads me to think about how to categorize people in my networks.

So in typical Rakafella Style, that for me means how much skin I show when I'm drinking around each group.  For Example:  Co workers see little to no skin.  Maybe a "buttoned-up shirt peek through."  Fellas, you know what this is, it's the part near the boobies where you see an opening?  Well for me, since I don't wear an undershirt all the time, that's all they would get.  Family, tops they would get is a "raised t-shirt over the belly."  It's the amount of skin you see when a t-shirt is too short.  It peeks out during napping and reaching for glasses in the cupboard.  Then there's friends.  That's no holds barred.  Depending on the alcohol, it could be NC-17.  But that's what my friends sign up for!  Actually, they probably don't.  Sorry guys...  What I'm trying to say is that I have too many friends, am way too popular, and show too much skin.  If you don't like it, Negative 1 me, Un Circle me, Defriend Me, or unhash this tweet.  You can get linked in to My Space down here.  Peace.  

 

p.s.  Please Share this post.  DOH.

Weddings! It's Manly!

I just went to two awesome weddings but the crazy thing is I was lucky enough to be able to go to both weddings on the same day!  After the reception of the wedding I was in, I traveled three blocks away to my other close friend's wedding.  Awesome luck right?  I love both couples to death.  Congrats to Gabe and Joanne and JC and Jan!  You all are beautiful couples!  Expect swinger invites from me and Michele soon!  Are any of the guys BI?  

But yes, I got to celebrate with all of my close friends on their special day.  But even more important than that, it was a wedding!  I love weddings!  Period.  End of story.  Weddings are fun.  Why do I like weddings?

Well, what is Rak about?  Passion, Dancing, Partying, Food, Family, Friends, and Cameras.  There's all that there!  All the emotion from the ceremony and tradition always gets me.  So what if I cry?  You would cry too if you had a heart you over cynical bastard!  Google that word...it's a good word.  Free Drinks, hot chicks in dresses, men not in basketball shorts and a wife beater.  Everyone looking their best.  Then Dancing!  Both vertically and horizontally for some...yeah!!

Speaking of Weddings, Happy Anniversary to my Wife of Four Years!!  LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!  Michele is the best.  (I just imagined how funny that last line would be if it was on a fortune cookie:  Michele is the best.  Then you add...well...you know...)  Yay to love!  I need football to start to get my man card back...